Trendy Styles for Every Man and Occasion
Explore our chic collection of blue lingerie for men who love men. Satirical purposes only, no items actually for sale.
The Boyfriend Package: Lovers Edition
Two men. One destiny. Infinite lace.
Two men. One destiny. Infinite lace.
Two men. One destiny. Infinite lace.
They once called each other “brothers.” Now, they call each other “boyfriend.” Walking away from careers, families, and the comfortable lie of straightness, they chose love, a messy, unapologetic, made-for-headlines kind of love. And they wear it, quite literally, on their sleeves. The Boyfriend Package isn’t just about coordinated outf
They once called each other “brothers.” Now, they call each other “boyfriend.” Walking away from careers, families, and the comfortable lie of straightness, they chose love, a messy, unapologetic, made-for-headlines kind of love. And they wear it, quite literally, on their sleeves. The Boyfriend Package isn’t just about coordinated outfits,
it’s about the decision to live in lockstep, in love, in lace, in the kind of partnership that turns whispers into headlines. Not just coordinated outfits, coordinated escapes from reality. Blue Lacy Venture — because some men leave it all behind for love… and matching lingerie.
Product Descriptions:
Two men. One destiny. Infinite lace.
Two men. One destiny. Infinite lace.
Ranch-Free Cowboy:
A cropped sapphire lace top, delicately scalloped along the hem, paired with thigh-skimming lace shorts that offer just enough coverage to keep the track officials guessing. The floral pattern, cut from soft-stretch Chantilly, allows freedom of movement whether he’s pole vaulting or vaulting into his lover’s arms. The
Ranch-Free Cowboy:
A cropped sapphire lace top, delicately scalloped along the hem, paired with thigh-skimming lace shorts that offer just enough coverage to keep the track officials guessing. The floral pattern, cut from soft-stretch Chantilly, allows freedom of movement whether he’s pole vaulting or vaulting into his lover’s arms. The cowboy hat sits at a deliberate tilt, a playful nod to a ranch life he’s never known, but now wears like a costume for their private games.
Paroled Portfolio:
A long-sleeve button-down in matching Blue Lacy Venture lace, the intricate floral weave revealing just a hint of skin with every subtle movement. The tailored trousers, lined for comfort but sheer at the ankle, drape with the languid elegance of a man who has nowhere to be except in his partner’s embrace. The lace itself catches the light like whispered promises and shared secrets, intimate, defiant, and utterly impossible to ignore.
Real Reviews from Real People:
Two men. One destiny. Infinite lace.
Real Reviews from Real People:
Rory La Meth Falls raves about the boyfriend package. After taking a break from angrily writing hate messages to customer service reps regarding her disdain for ex-cons, she has turned around and bought a nice lacy paroled portfolio outfit for her spouse's new paroled boyfriend.
Use code "lover boys" for 10% off and get a free pole vaulting pole when you buy the matching set.
Back to school new product launch
ND Ain’t™ Bag - Executive Weekender
The ND-Ain’t™ Executive Weekender is crafted for the modern professional who believes boundaries are more of a gentle suggestion. Hand-stitched in rich Italian leather and luxurious lace, it features a discreet double-zip privacy compartment—perfect for storing “reference material” from your former employer, like detailed client lists, or that strategic plan you definitely didn’t download at 11:47 PM on your last day.
Generous capacity ensures it fits both your overnight essentials and a binder full of non-compete agreements you never actually read, let alone followed. Whether you’re headed to a “business lunch” with a poached account or a deposition downtown, this bag carries it all, including your questionable judgment. Available now at Blue Lacy Venture, and if you ‘accidentally’ pick one up while walking past Sixth Street, well, we didn’t see a thing.
Use code "you're fucked" for 20% off.
(Obviously satire)
New product launch
The Unnamed Brief
The Executive Ghost Robe
The Executive Ghost Robe
For the type who blends in with office chairs and excuses. Bald. Bland. But always nearby when things go wrong. These briefs offer no support, just like him. Silent in meetings, loud in betrayal. Not for sale.
The Executive Ghost Robe
The Executive Ghost Robe
The Executive Ghost Robe
Lightweight, non-confrontational, and mostly decorative, just like its muse. Drapes beautifully over indecision and performs well in rooms with no backbone. Changes his mind with the breeze, or more accurately, with whoever spoke to him last. Warning: May dissolve in the presence of accountability. Cowardice sold separately. Not for sale.
The Judas Corset
The Executive Ghost Robe
The Judas Corset
This corset hugs like a secret and whispers like a regret.
Built for spillers, thrillers, and spotlight-stealing backstabbers—the kind who orbit every man in the room, begging for scraps of attention, selling out friends for a glance that never comes.
He wants applause. He gets avoidance. And still, he keeps talking. Not for Sale.
Attention
All characters, products, and scenarios featured on this site are works of satire. They are not based on real people, living or dead. Any resemblance to actual persons is purely coincidental.
If you are the wife of someone and feel you’ve identified your husband in one of our fictional characters a little too hard, and now find yourself sending angry messages to our customer support chat, please rest assured: it’s just a coincidence. We cannot be held responsible for moments of uncomfortable self-recognition.